Lately I've been beating myself up on a pretty regular basis and today my husband finally told me it's time to quit that crap.
It all started when we had Peyton's first dentist appointment about a week ago. I expected her to cry or scream (which she did) but I wasn't mentally prepared for the dentist to tell me she has a cavity. Yup, my almost 3 yr old already has a cavity. I know she loves to brush her teeth, she lets me brush them 2-3 times a day and lets me floss her teeth. I also know she did not hit the genetic jackpot in the teeth department from either side of the family. So why did I immediately feel like a complete and total failure as a parent? He told me we possibly caught it early enough to where we won't have to fill it, and we'll find out at her next appt in 6 months.
Tantrums have been back on the rise in our house as well, which exhausts me to my very core. If you've followed my blog for a while, you know my child is EXTREMELY strong willed and stubborn as hell. In the long run these are qualities I'm going to be glad she has, but for now they're killing me. I feel horrible when we go to friends houses and other children are playing well, then you see my kid with her hands on her hips yelling "NO" any time she's asked to do something. Or when we physically have to drag her out while she kicks and screams. Granted this doesn't happen every time...OK it only happened once, but even once feels like a million times. Again, why am I beating myself up over this? I KNOW every other 2-3 year old has tantrums and times when they're defiant, but I'm not witnessing it so I feel like I'm the horrible Mom with the unruly child.
Which brings me to today. My Mom called to tell me Peyton had an "incident" on the playground at preschool and her teacher sent a note home. Break.my.heart!!!! She may throw tantrums and have an attitude, but she's never hurt another child...until today. Apparently she gave a kid a pretty nasty scratch. We don't know what happened before, maybe it was self defense, but it doesn't matter.
So it's just been a week of what feels like failure after failure. After talking to my husband I decided I'm going to stop bullying myself because my daughter is acting like a normal almost 3 year old! OK she has a small cavity....at least she has great hygiene and healthy eating habits. OK she has crazy temper tantrums...at least she's loving and sweet the majority of the time. OK she got a note sent home from preschool...we'll work with her and try to be sure it doesn't happen again.
We, as parents, put too much blame on ourselves for things outside of our control...especially us Mom's. We're not perfect, our kids aren't perfect and that's OK. It's been a rough week emotionally for me, but I have beautiful little girl that's incredibly smart, happy and healthy. I need to count my blessings and stop wallowing in self pity!