Friday, October 29, 2010

Yes, I'm About to Rant

I got to thinking about all the things people tell you when your pregnant and how it only gets worse after your baby is born.  Although helpful advice is always welcomed, I've gotten increasingly agitated with the "myths" (as I see them) people love to throw in your face.  I'm not claiming to know about these topics, I just know what I believe and what works for us.  I thought I'd rant about a few of them...

1.  "You're spoiling her by holding her too much" - ok this one REALLY irks me!  I in no way believe that holding an infant can spoil them, and what kind of crazy person would believe something like that?!  If anything it shows that you LOVE them, you're there for them, you'll protect them and keep them safe.  Why in the world would you want to deprive your child of that?  I hold Peyton used to hold Peyton all the time (except when she was playing of course).  Now she's so busy rolling and playing and trying to crawl, she doesn't have time for me to cuddle with her unless she's sleepy or we're around people! 

2.  "You just have to let them cry it out" or "If you go to them, you're letting them win"- Now I know some people swear by the CIO method, but I am not one of those people.  I will let Peyton fuss and do some light crying without going in her room, or go in and pat her and then leave, but when she starts full on screaming and crying I refuse to let her just lay there and scream until she passes out from exhaustion.  I fully believe that if a baby is crying (I mean really crying, not whining or fussing), they NEED something.  That's the only method they have of letting you know that they don't feel good, are in pain, are scared, hungry, etc...  I don't believe that by going in her room and consoling her, I'm "giving in" or "letting her win".  Letting her win????  She's 6 months old!!

3.  "She should be sleeping through the night by 6 months!" - First of all "sleeping through the night" is actually defined as 5-6 straight hours of sleep.  We've been very lucky that Peyton has been doing that since she was 8 weeks old.  She generally wakes once to eat and goes right back to sleep.  With that being said, there is always something that pops up to throw a wrench in this, ie: teething, learning to roll, learning to crawl (which we're going through right now), etc...  Even though we have been relatively lucky in the sleep department (MOST of the time), I would never condemn another parent because their baby wakes more than mine.  I hate that people try to make you feel like you're a bad parent because your baby wakes up.  I found an interesting blog and I really liked this one part.  It's called Secrets of Baby Behavior

"Good Parenting and Sleeping Through the NightWe've noticed that parents whose babies sleep through the night sometimes are seen as the "good parents" who don't spoil their children versus parents who are still getting up as "indulgent" or "giving in" to their unreasonable babies. While parents do have a lot of influence on how much or how little their babies sleep, the truth is that babies wake up for lots of reasons, many of which are not under their parents' control. Some babies are very sensitive to changes in stimulation or the discomforts of teething. Others are driven to practice crawling and standing or are fearful of sounds in the dark. Efforts to get these babies to sleep through the night might work, but only for a short time. Now, I'm not trying to tell you that your baby will never sleep through the night! Babies do sleep! The problem is in the belief that you can force a baby to sleep the way you do.

Sleep "Training" versus Understanding Infant Sleep
Some of the sleep training methods require that babies be put in their cribs and left to cry for ever lengthening periods of time. This is very stressful for parents and babies. While these systems might work for a few nights, many parents find that they have to do the "training" over and over again. Bedtime becomes a battle for weeks on end until one day, the baby starts sleeping longer and parents congratulate themselves that the training finally worked. But the baby is also several weeks older and most older babies will sleep for long stretches if their parents don't interfere. From our perspective, understanding how infants sleep and why they wake can go a long way in helping parents cope with their babies' nighttime behavior."
This week is one of those weeks where Peyton isn't doing so hot in the sleep department.  Last night was sooo much better than Wed. night, but around 3am I heard her fussing and I looked at the monitor and she was up on all 4's rocking back and forth "practicing" her crawling LOL.  As tired as I was, I couldn't help but get tickled.  When she'd fall she'd get mad and start fussing, then right back up on all 4's! 

Whew, I feel better now!  I've had a lot of these statements thrown my way in the past few months, and I'm pretty sure other new Mom's (or experienced Mom's) have at some point in time as well.  I'd love to hear some other "smart" comments you've heard!  Thanks for reading this far!


  1. yeah, i never finished a book on parenting--as in, never completed the babywise thing... or any of that stuff.. why? because NONE OF THE AUTHORS knew eden... imagine that? :-P and i don't plan to read them if i ever have another baby... because chances are that baby will be different than his/her big sister...

    i will admit its nice to hear how other people do certain things (new ideas or tricks to try) but generally, it will lead to more frustration if your baby doesn't respond exactly the way their's did or the way the book "says they should respond"... i've had the best luck just flat out asking the pediatrician... and just going with that mama instinct... THE GUT! hah

    great post :)

  2. Totally agree about the sleeping. You can't force a baby to do anything and when you try it is miserable!! The 'your baby should be' comments always drive me nuts!