Due to the most recent officer shooting, I wanted to dedicate this post to how incredibly proud I am to be married to police officer. Being a police wife is something that no one can fully comprehend unless you are one, it's really an entirely different world. I remember the day Edwin became a police officer, and our lives literally changed over night.
As a police wife you spend all of your time trying your hardest NOT to think about what he's doing or what could happen to him. That was the hardest adjustment for me, especially during night shifts. My mind would constantly run a mile a minute thinking all of these "what if's". Then you have the entire night that seems to drag on forever when they're not there. I couldn't wait for it to be morning and hear his car pull up, then I would breathe a huge sigh of relief. It went on like that for almost the whole first year! 5 years later, I've learned how to keep my mind off things and how to go on with daily life. But those thoughts still creep up from time to time, especially anytime an officer is killed or injured. It seems to happen more and more often lately and it takes every ounce of strength I have not to break down in tears each time a story pops up on the news. It's almost impossibly but to think "that could have been my husband".
I had to get used to a lot of changes once Edwin became a police officer. You have to get used to a LOT of alone time, a lot of worry, and a lot of loneliness. I've spent holidays without him, birthdays without him, and now he has to miss many of our daughters "firsts". You learn to adapt though and learn to celebrate holidays and birthdays on alternate days.
I've learned a lot of things in the past 5 years, like to always let Edwin sit facing the door when we go out to eat and I've gotten used to how over protective he is when I go places. There are things he has seen and experienced that I couldn't even begin to understand. I also had to learn how to help him balance personal life and work life. A police officer can never fully "turn off" their job, but as his wife it was my responsibility to help him differentiate the two. I do things and notice things after years of being married to him that other women don't think twice about. He's done his own sort of training on me over the years so I'm not roaming around naive and thinking everyone is trustworthy. The biggest change is that he's turned me in to a fan of guns. I was petrified of them before I met him, now I have my own and am eager to go shoot with him! I find myself A LOT more aware of my surroundings when I'm out by myself. As a police wife you also find a lot of comfort in other police wives. Don't get me wrong I have a lot of friends that have no police affiliation, but there are certain things I experience or feelings I have they just can't understand.
I truly admire and respect my husband for the work he does everyday, for the husband he is, and the father he has become. I could never do it, and I don't know how he and so many other men and women do. They risk their lives every single day to keep us all safe...which includes protecting the scum that refers to them as "pigs" or says "F the police". My thoughts and prayers are with the injured officer and his family.