Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Keeping It Real

A blogging buddy of mine did a challenge post for everyone to do a REAL blog about themselves.  She did 10 real things about herself and her life, no sugar coating no moonlight and roses.  I totally agree with her that so many people feel the need to "embellish" their lives so it sounds good to others.  The truth is, no one is perfect so get over it!  I liked her post so much, I wanted to keep the challenge going and post 10 completely real and honest things about myself!

1.  I love being a Mommy more than words could ever describe, BUT it's the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life.  Let me start by saying that I wouldn't change a thing, but it's hard not to miss certain pre-baby things.  I miss laying around all day watching Lifetime, sleeping in, jumping up and going shopping whenever I feel like it.  I miss date nights with the hubby and spontaneously taking off for a weekend at the beach.  I miss that freedom of it just being me. 

2.  That being said, I love my daughter more than I ever thought possible.  I never knew I could love another human being as much as I love her.  People always told me "you'll understand when you have one of your own" and my God is it true.  From the second I held her in my arms I felt love that I can't even begin to describe.  I truly believe it's a feeling everyone should experience if at all possible. 

3.  It REALLY annoys me when people feel the need to talk about how "perfect" their child is.  Like there's some cookie cutter mold all babies are supposed to fit in, and if yours isn't like that then there's something wrong with you as a parent. They're babies, they're people, and they're all different just like all adults are different.   Guess what?! Babies cry, they get upset, they don't all sleep perfectly, you have to work at things with them, they have to LEARN.  I read so many websites, blogs, etc... where people are so freaking scared to say "you know what, my 4 month old wakes up 3 times during the night" or "my child is having an awful time with teething and is super fussy".  So here's Peyton in a nutshell.  My daughter is the apple of my eye but boy does she have her Mommy's attitude!  When she's happy, she's the happiest baby in the world, but when she's mad you'd better watch out!  I totally love that about her...she's an individual, she's spunky, she's all woman!  She's a handful and goes full speed pretty much all of the time.  She doesn't want to be confined or contained in any way, shape, or form.  She loves being outside, but you'd better let her crawl while she's out there!  She's in the middle of some serious separation anxiety and wants to be glued to my hip most of the time.  She's slow to warm up around new people, especially men.  She loves other baby's and kids and God help you if you have a cat or dog and she's around!  She loves going places, but gets frustrated in her car seat after a while.  She wants to turn around so she can see us and what we see (not too much longer sweetie).  She laughs, she cries, she fusses, she gives hugs and kisses, she's my world, and I'm good with that.

4.  I'm constantly paranoid that someone is going to try and take my daughter some how, some way.  I blame way too much Lifetime and being married to a Cop.  I dream about it, I think about it, it's really annoying. 

5.  I have a huge fear of a plane crashing in to our house.  I tense up when I hear an airplane that's flying low and sounds louder and louder.  I have no idea why, feel free to laugh.

6.  I'm truly blessed to live in the house we now live in.  We didn't and couldn't have done it on our own, so don't think we did.  The house was my Uncle's house and my family owns 40 acres of land out there.  Our original plan was to build out there.  We had picked out a plan within our very low price range and a builder.  But my Uncle decided to sell his house and no one wanted non-family living out there right in the middle of our land.  So we did some negotiating and worked out a price that we could afford.  We have a lower mortgage payment for 3 yrs since his business is renting out the work area behind our house.  After the 3 yrs are up, if he decides to close this part of his business, the payments will go up.  We did a LOT of scrimping and saving to afford a higher mortgage. 

7.  Sometimes I really miss college and Greenville.  I thought I wanted to live there, and sometimes I still think about it, but now that I have a family I don't believe it's the place for me.  I had more fun in the 6 yrs I lived there than I ever thought possible.  Lots of partying, lots of drinking, lots of wild times, and I loved every second.  I miss having a group of girls that I could literally call at any hour for any reason.  I miss having those friends that I could just call up and say "hey lets go out for dinner and drinks".  So much changes when you get married.  It's not a bad thing, it's just different.  I have girlfriends, but I'm not sure that I'll ever feel that bond that I had with my girls during college. 

8.  I hate being married to a cop, but I love being married to a cop.  Make sense?  Probably not.  I love being married to a cop because it's all I know and he makes me so proud.  He loves what he does and I love him for what he does.  I can't really imagine myself being married to someone with a "normal" job, it's not in the cards for me.  Drugs, guns, death, etc... is normal talk in our house.  He needs to talk about it to decompress and I'm pretty desensitized to it at this point.  I hate being married to a cop for the obvious reasons.  It's not easy living with a constant "what if" in the back of your mind...it's not easy being alone so much of the time...and it's not easy taking care of a baby by yourself most of the time.  Planning for vacations or ANYTHING is harder than you could ever imagine.  But like I said, it's all I know and I'm OK with that. 

9.  I actually like my job now.  I was in a pretty low place for a while.  I was in a job that I was over qualified for and underpaid.  I was doing some heavy job hunting, and then one of my coworkers got another job and left.  I was offered her position and am really enjoying it.  I'm still in the LONG drawn out process with HR (the county is notoriously slow), but should have the new title and salary (woo hoo) in the next few weeks. 

10. My Mom is truly my best friend and I pray Peyton and I will have the same kind of relationship as she gets older.  We don't have as many opportunities to sit and chat these days since I'm chasing a 10 month old around constantly.  We talk in some form every single day whether it be text, email, phone, or in person. 

Ok there are some REAL things about me and my life!  I could keep going, but you're probably bored by now!  I challenge you to do the same thing on your blog!

4 comments:

  1. thank you for this :) you're awesome!!!

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  2. Found your blog through Ashlynn's, and my boyfriend is a police officer too. I can totally relate to the loving/hating his job. It's hard and not many people understand!

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  3. Came over from Ashlynn's blog as well. Married to a cop, too. :)

    Your little girl is so cute!! Love the 5 month pic :)

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  4. Thanks, she's such a mess! I always love meeting other police wives/girlfriends. Sometimes they're the only ones that can really get how hard it can be!

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