Tuesday, September 14, 2010

What They Don't Tell You...

I was talking to a friend today about all of the things no one tells you about pregnancy and delivery.  Sooo since I have a whole new batch of friends that are expecting, I thought it would be fun to share a few things that no one bothered telling me (I'll refrain from the graphic ones)....

  • HEARTBURN...lots of it
  • Discharge...lots of it.  Invest in a lot of pads and/or panty liners
  • You have the nose of a bloodhound...seriously you can smell things all the way across the house, I've never experienced anything like it!
  • By the last trimester your cankles, feet, and hands balloon up to at least 3 times their original size by the end of the day.
  • Peeing all the time is an understatement...you WILL get up every hour (at least) to pee during the night.
  • Yes it's amazing to feel your baby move around, but sometimes. it. HURTS!
  • You'll have a runny nose for the entire 9 months.
  • Morning sickness doesn't just occur in the morning. It's more like any time of the day sickness.  
  • You really do forget everything...Mommy brain is not a myth.
  • Your baby may decide to camp out on your sciatic nerve, no fun. 
  • EVERYONE will have something to say about your body and will want to touch you, apparently it's no longer yours once you're pregnant.
  • The last 4 weeks take F-O-R-E-V-E-R
  • Some days walking is super painful because you have so much pressure...no wonder we waddle
  • You get a funny dark line down your tummy
  • You might pee on yourself a little near the end if you sneeze or laugh too hard
  • You're hot...and I don't mean sexy (although I do think pregnancy is beautiful).  I mean wearing tank tops in the winter kind of hot.

  • Hemorrhoids, yup
  • Once you have decided you're in labor and you call the doctor's office, you have to go to the DOCTOR'S office first not the hospital (personal experience)
  • Contractions HURT...BAD
  • It's not easy to walk, talk, and sign forms during contractions
  • There's a lot of bleeding...for several days
  • You lose the sensation to pee for a while, which was really weird
  • You basically wear a diaper made of a puppy pad for the first few days

There are many more things I could add, but I don't want to be too graphic for the sensitive readers (my husband couldn't believe I included the words "discharge" and "panty liners").

Don't get me wrong I loved being pregnant, but sometimes I would think "why didn't anyone tell me about this".  So I thought I'd share the ones I could think of.  Ladies, if you can think of any others feel free to add them :)


  1. keep em comin'...message me on facebook...i need DETAILS...i'm the kinda girl that wants to know what she's getting her self into before it happens...

  2. the diaper like a puppy pad thing was the best though!! hahah.... it was a little "humbling" the first time, but then you realized the beauty in the function!!!!

    these are good... i got the opportunity to skip a few of these...

  3. now we REALLY might not have children. this sounds AWFUL!!! thanks for sharing though - this is stuff i need to know, like andrea, before i get myself into it!

  4. LOL I promise, it's really not that awful. Most of those things pass so fast, and the stuff after delivery is such a blur because you're too busy focusing on that precious baby.

  5. LOL, Jess. SO true. You might want to add: it's nice to have a birth plan, but that doesn't mean things will go as you plan them. (ie. I wanted to have a natural birth, but after 16 hours of labor and only making it to 3.5cm, they gave me an epidural, then took me in for an emergency c-section 2 hours later)

  6. Everything is true, but is it worth every waking minute of it! And trust me there are more waking minutes than sleeping minutes. From the third trimester until your child is 18 (at least) there won't be many sleeping minutes. LOL

  7. This is too funny! Yes, pregnancy has been awesome, but I'll agree as these symptoms start creeping up on me I'm like... WTF?!
    Keep 'em coming, girl! I'm already terrified of delivery and post recovery, so there's not much more "damage" you can do with the details... send them to me in an email or something as you think of them! Oh and lessons learned with the kid, too... keep those coming ;)

  8. I think every delivery is different, but mine really wasn't that bad. Labor sucks, but mine was pretty fast for a 1st pregnanty. After the epidural, life was good and I was laughing and chatting as I pushed! I didn't know how much pressure I would have once I got near 10cm though, and they call it the "ring of fire" when the head comes through lol, but by that point you're so excited and anxious you don't even care!
    If I think of others I'll email you ;)